Thursday, March 1, 2012


I must have been about 14?  That's Andre to my left.  His twin brother, Bobby is to his left, his younger brothers at the rear table.

We were invited to Andre's fathers' home in Waterbury, Ct.  I believe it was for Easter.

 Every time I drove to visit Barrett & would drive past Waterbury & see the church spires, I would think of that day.

I so clearly remember getting all dressed up.  I wore high heels that blistered the hell out of my feet to the point of taking them off & carrying them.  I remember us taking the LIRR to Penn Sta & then taking another train to Ct.  We pretended that we were married & hoped that passengers sitting near us would hear our conversation & agree that indeed, we were grown-ups.

Andre sent this photo with some others of himself & his family the other day.  I had never seen this photo.  It's so cool to see yourself in an image that is new.  It's like looking at another view of your life....a tiny slice from your memory bank that is brought back to life.

Thank you, Andre.  Thank you for the love we shared then, thank you for your loving friendship today.  

I am amazed & so very grateful that a relationship from 54 years ago has reappeared.  What a gift!!

Thank you Caroline, for helping to re-connect us.

Sunday, January 1, 2012


What a year!! I moved to a magic mountain in fabulous western NC, made so many new & loving friends, I continue to grow love with my old (not chronologically, of course) friends that I love more every day. The moving process allowed me to reconnected with a loving friend from over 50 years ago!!! I again have cousins....the gift that keeps on giving. I am blessed to have a relationship with a very special person that came with a bonus of family. I have the very best kids in the world....seriously - I couldn't/wouldn't have chosen any better. I love you Josh, Ben & Barrett. I am happy, & healthy. Bottom line: I am blessed & filled with gratitude for all that I have. I wish for me, for you and all those we love all this & more. Dream big.....they do come true. I'm living mine. Happy New Year

Monday, April 18, 2011


This photo was taken 2 weeks ago & I havn't stopped.  Oh, just wrap me in bubble wrap & call it a day!! 

The paintings on the wall have since been taken down & I believe that I feel that the house is so much less mine now & that's a good thing.  I'm feeling excited about leaving; I'm ready.  Also, since the paintings are down, I can see all the cracks in the walls - all the work that would be necessary to bring this house up to snuff & I'm so glad I don't have to do it.

Monday, March 28, 2011


So - I'm not even sure where I found these letters - they were sort of.....just there, in a plastic bag, in my hand.  I guess I was digging away at something in the attic - it's really bizarre that I truly can't remember where they were when I "discovered" them.  NO!  I did not remember that I had any letters from Andre - and surely not so many of them.

The previous blog entries I wrote were about a stack of  letters I found in my attic that were from a guy I hardly remembered.  This is waaay different:

I found 48 letters (a few were post cards & birthday cards) from Andre Trepanier.  The letters were dated from Feb, 1958 to June, 1962. (we're talking 7cent air mail stamps) There were also about 5 letters from me to him...looks like rough drafts of letters that I sent. 

Andre was my 1st love.  Big Time.  I was 13 & he was 19 when we met.  Yes indeed, my father would eventually want to lock me up in the basement.  I met him in the "Old Village".  I believe he truly swept me off my feet the first time I laid eyes on him. "Breathtaking" is a fitting expression.  Even though I believe he had a girlfriend then, there was no turning back from that point on.

Andre was French Canadian, had been living in Waterbury, Ct.  He was in Great Neck with his twin brother, Bobby & their friend, Dizzy.  (Boy, was he ever dizzy - one scary, ugly dude).  They came to GN in March of 1956 to look for work, hearing there was good Summer money to be made in landscaping here.

(I have to write this slowly, as it is truly boggling my mind)....more to come

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I call this photo "the baseball game".  Funny, I was recently talking to someone about this scene - & here it is.  Good memories.

Looking at the photo, my father, Phil is on the left in front, next to him is cousin Jack Ratchick, married to My mother's cousin, Ida. Across from him, on the right, in back is uncle Irving (Goldstein) My mothers younger brother- next to him is uncle Al (Hantman), married to my mother's sister, Lilly. 

I think this photo is so funny.  This was the men having a great time???  They were sitting around the kitchen table at Lilly & Al's house, smoking, drinking something - perhaps a little schnops, & listening to the baseball game.  We - the kids & women were prob sitting around the dining room table, which was just a few steps away.  We could have been in the living room, but I don't remember being in there very often. 

We always had great food.  We ate before the meal - God forbid you should be too hungry to wait, then of course an abundant meal.  I'm thinking pot roast & all the trimmings, then coffee & dessert - perhaps aunt Lilly's mondel bread, her outrageous sour cream cake, some danish, coffee cake, fruit, etc.  I remember her making her own egg noodles.  I can see her cutting the dough into tiny slices - I was in awe at how she moved the huge knife so quickly & never cut herself. 

Their apt was on the 2nd floor of a brownstone (prob valued over a million dollars these days) and a few blocks away there was actually a dairy farm.  When the wind was in the right direction, one could smell the cows, which I liked because it reminded me of being in the country.

We used to visit relatives almost every weekend - that's just what the family did. I loved being at my aunt Lilly's - she used to let me go through the drawers of her dining room furniture where she had miniature tea sets & tiny dishes that I loved to play with.  I still have a tiny set with a brass tray, candlesticks, etc that she gave me.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Another memory-packed item out the door.  I sold my old porcelain kitchen sink on Craigs List for $50.  I listed it for $65.  I must have posted it at least 4 or 5 times.  Keep showing what you've got, & someone is bound to want it.

The sink has been sitting in the side yard, visible from the kitchen window for years.  It's been there since the old pipes gave out & the plumber I hired was too lazy, or just didn't care to restore it.  He preferred to replace it with new, stainless steel.  I've been using it as a funky planter.

I was sad when the buyers took it away yesterday.  I didn't want to let it go......I hardly want to let anything go.  The guy buying it explained that he was building a country house upstate in the woods & thought this sink would be perfect.  Why wouldn't it?

I have memories (of course) of this sink.  It was here when my parents bought the house.  It was placed upon home built cabinets. It had two front graceful porcelain legs that were left visible on the sides of the cabinet.  I washed the dishes while my brother, Mike would dry, we would argue. This is the sink I bathed my kids in.  Barrett used to stand on a chair & play with her toys in a sinkful of bubbles - splashing, spilling & having a great time.  Lucy got her baths in this sink.  Bazillions of meals were prepared around this my mother, me, my kids.
Today I'm really sad.  The actual move - leaving this house & my life as I know it is inevitably close & "a never to return reality".  If not for money - I would keep this house & move to Asheville.

Sunday, March 13, 2011


Today I had the urge to investigate/clean out the shed.  Well, I barely scratched the surface.  Three trips to the curb with discards & much, too much left to toss?  Time & Ben's valued opinion will help to make that decision.

There are many tools, some, I'm sure that date back  to my parents ownership of this house.  There are many flowerpots....always handy to have about.  I've got many old aluminum pots that were my motheres - I drilled holes in the bottoms & used them as funky flower pots.  I used to line the walk with them.... doubled handled soup pots of varied sizes, tea kettles, collenders..... all planted prettily with colorful flowers.  Very often people stopped me to tell me that walking past my house caused them to smile.  That's a good thing. 

I can envision some of the pots on my High Vista decks.  I've seen beautiful, huge, glazed, colorful & expensive ceremic flower pots in the stores & garden centers.  I would love to have some of them & prob will get some.  To start, my mom's soup pots will add some funky flavor to my decks just as her soups added healthy flavor to all who were fortunate enough to eat at her table.

I'v got a white wrought iron bicycle basket in the shed.  I've been holding on to it for years.  I had an idea (prob saw a photo in some magazine) to use it on an old bike that I wished to paint white.  It's the kind of baskets that would have been attached to the back fender of the old-fashioned, fat tired Schwinns. One basket on either side of the wheel. I wanted to fill the baskets with flowing flowers & use all as a big flower display.  I am now hoping that it can be attached to the deck railing.  Well, with me it will go. 

I wish I were in my new house in NC (who said that?)  to start my garden.  A neighbor emailed to invite me to a High Vista Edible Garden Club.  Yes!  I am getting emotionally closer each day.  I definitely have felt a shift from the time I signed that contract.  I look at the house & the rooms differently.  I feel they are already less mine.  I am feeling a bit more detached little by little.  It is clear that the time it is taking is the time I need it to take.